March Madness: The Grand Finale?

Today is the last day of March. YIPPEE!!! I made it!!! I blogged every single day for a month and I only had to get drunk to write like two of the posts. hee hee Just kidding.

It was more like three. LOL.

Again, I kid about the drinking. It's my thing. The kidding, not the drinking.

Several people have asked me if I plan on continuing this little blogging adventure after "March Madness" is over.

My answer is ...

I have at least until midnight to decide, right, so why are you people rushing me?? ;)

I started "March Madness" as a way to see if I could find my voice, find my way in the world of blogging and lose my mind a little in the process. And I am not sure if I have accomplished any except for the last one. It was really my answer to writer's block. And it did unconstipate (is that a word?) me a bit. March Madness: A Laxative for Your Blog. I should market that. Anyway, I think it served the purpose it was supposed to serve. But beyond that? My crystal ball is fuzzy.

Blogging every day is HARD. Not hard like doing advanced Calculus hard, but hard nonetheless. And did I have to pick one of the longest freakin' months of the year?? Apparently February with 3 less days would just not have done it for me. Gah! So will I continue to blog every day? N.O. But the big question is whether or not I will keep the blog up in general. Hmmmm...

I still struggle a lot with the fact that I really, really, really wish I could be as raw and honest on here as I truly want to be. I am envious of those bloggers who just seems to put themselves out there with no apologies, balls out, here I am, take it or leave it. I really wish I could do that. But the bottom line for me is that THIS blog can't be that. And I have to let that go and be okay with it. I have thought about starting another blog that is just out there and anonymous, and really dig into things on there. Anonymous sounds good sometimes. I am inspired by a blog that I recently found that was so amazingly pure, honest and simple that I am starting to crave that for myself.

But yet ANOTHER blog???? I have truly lost my mind.

I know there are some out there (who I clearly don't like) who think that blogging is silly, meaningless and low-brow. To them I say this: You have a point. ;) No, really...all joking aside I think that blogging has and will continue to open up whole new worlds of possibilities for me. There are friends to meet, things to say and fun to be had. I have actually really come to love this blogging world and the people in it. (A very sincere and hearty THANK YOU to all those who have been frequent commenters and all my cheerleaders out there who have encouraged me to just keep writing. I am truly grateful.) Where I fit in this blogging world is yet to be determined. But that's where the fun is.

So, to answer your question my dear readers: Will I continue All of the Above?

The answer is (in my best Minnesotan accent): Ya sure, you betcha.

And besides, Grant still owes me a post. Can't let him off the hook THAT easily. ;)

March Madness: Zombie Punch

What Happens at Bookclub Stays at Bookclub.

Therefore I cannot divulge any information about the completely and utterly entertaining conversations that we have. Or the fact that someone inevitably stands up to do an impromptu dance. Or that fact that we talk less and less about actual books every time we meet. Or the fact that we really just get together to drink.

I can't talk about any of that. It's a secret.

However, I CAN tell you that last night at bookclub we discussed Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. If you haven't read it yet DO IT. So incredibly funny. If you can get through the violent zombie beheadings and strangulations with bowels you will be so amused by this witty book. I am reading Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter next. Can't wait.

I also shouldn't tell you that the punch we had last night that we dubbed "Zombie Punch" was all kinds of yummy, boozy goodness. I think there were at least two different kinds of rum in there and beyond that I have no idea what she spiked it with...and WHO CARES! It was fab.

Bookclub started at 7:00 p.m. and by 7:08 p.m. we were all buzzed. Excellent way to spend a Monday evening.

Happiness is: Drinking and laughing and talking until you have no clue what time it is.

I wish bookclub was every night...

March Madness: Happy Place

Do you have a happy place that you go to? You know, like when things get really rough and you need a mental escape. Is there a place that you can go to either figuratively in your mind (or literally, for that matter) where you just feel better. Instantly?

My mind doesn't really work that way but I ran into someone today who will literally go to her happy place when she is in the midst of chaos. She closes her eyes...breathes deeply...thinks of her "happy place"..and GOES THERE. In her mind. Takes a little mini-vacation. She claims that she can't hear anything that is happening in the outside world when she is in this place. Everything is completely shut out. She is THERE totally and completely, at least in her mind. She never actually told me what she is imagining but as she was talking about her happy place her whole demeanor changed--she was calm, peaceful. So it must be a pretty great place.

Now, this is a coping mechanism that she has had since childhood, which frankly sounded hellish. Abuse, neglect in different forms, awful stuff. She has used her happy place to escape any horror that was going on around her.

On the one hand I am envious of her ability to shut down and check out at will. I have always been jealous of people who could meditate for hours on end. I can't even be in my house without the TV on or music going. Silence is hard for me. Really hard. I think most people are probably like me, though. Silence is not my happy place.

On the other hand this strikes me as a really sad statement on this woman's life. She has had to create a place for herself that is imaginary. The only place that she has known, at some points in her life, that has given her solace has been a place that doesn't actually exist. That makes me so incredibly sad for her. She is not looking for people to feel sorry for her, though. She really loves that she has the ability to calm her mind in a healthy way...whenever...wherever.

We all have our own way of coping, and this is hers. I just think it's amazing. I tend to be the more external coping person--like I will cry or eat french fries or call my best friend if I need to check out. This woman is the complete opposite--she goes completely internal. Isn't that fascinating? I think so.

It makes me think that the mind is a vast and mysterious place. I am convinced that my mind, on the other hand, is just filled with gray matter and goo. But that's a whole other story. But still, I am amazed at the mind's ability to act as a filter.

By the way, since I am unable to use my mind to get to my happy place I choose to use my car instead: The movies. That has been, and is still, the place that I escape to when I need a little "happy".

Where is your happy place?

March Madness: Stealing Sunday

I have way too much going on in my brain today to write down something that might resemble a coherent post. So, like any self-respecting blogger, I shall hide behind a meme ;)

1. How far away is the last person you kissed? In the next room. In his crib. Sleeping. Ahhhh....

2. Has someone ever told you they would be with you forever? Several.

3. Last person you were in a car with? People: Grant and Miles. Longest car ride of our lives. I don't want to talk about it...

4. Any plans for tomorrow? I have this thing called a JOB and I'm going to do it. Oh, and bookclub (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. With Bloody Mary's. Have I mentioned how much I love my bookclub?)

5. How long does it take for you to take a shower? If there is a toddler whining for me to get out, then 1 minute. If no toddlers are whining, approx. 37 minutes.

6. Best friend or close friends? Yes.

7. Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Yes.

8. Did you kiss anyone Friday? Yes.

9. Ever thrown up in public? No. But I've heard it's a great time.

10. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW? I'm wondering where the hell the remote is because I'm watching Home Alone and it might be the worst movie I've ever seen.

11. Who was the last person you talked to? Grant.

12. What is the WORST subject they teach at school? Math.

13. Have you seen anyone this week that you don't get along with? No, but the week is still young.

14. What is your favorite color top to wear? Black. Goes well with my nice rack.

15. Have you ever been in a car accident? Nope.

16. What's the closest thing to you that's green? One of Miles' toys cars.

17. Where would you like to be right now? I'm livin' in the now, so...right here.

18. Write down some lyrics to the song you're listening to? No thanks.

19. How many dogs do you have? Zero. But I have a lovely neighbor dog that I would like to sell if anyone's interested...

20. Is anything bugging you right now? I plead the Fifth.

21. Is life going right for you now? Yes and no. And yes. And no. So yes. And no.

22. Is there someone you care about more than yourself? Yes.

23. What made you laugh today? Miles. About a million times.

24. What was the last movie you watched? HOME ALONE (*banging my head against the wall*)

25. Whats the last conversation you had about? Ugh. You don't want to know.

26. What were you doing at 7:00 this morning? IN BED. Miles slept in. And so did we!

27. Do you like your hair long or short? Oooo, tough one. How about medium length?

28. Do you want to see somebody right now? Not really, I'm enjoying my alone time.

29. Do you like the rain? Not unless we need it.

30. Did you have a valentine this year? Two of them!

31. The last person you kissed needs you at 3 am, would you go? What kind of inane question is that? Of course!!!

32. Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else? Ummm, hell to the YES.

33. Honestly, if you could go back 1 month and change something would you? No regrets.

34. How do you feel about boys smoking? Dumbest question I have ever heard.

35. Could you see yourself with someone forever? Wow, this meme got worse as it went along. Sorry about that. Forever is a looooong time, but that's the goal. Forever.

March Madness: Ode to Granny

We are headed to a very special birthday party today for a very special lady.

Grant's grandmother is affectionately known as Granny. And oh how we love our dear Granny. She might be turning 80 but she is all spunk, this one. I fell in love with her from the moment I met her. And I have just come to love her even more dearly as the years go on.

I never had a chance to know my own grandparents as an "adult" because I lost all of them by the time I was 25. So, I have been extra happy to know Grant's grandparents so well. They are each unique and lovely in their own ways, but Granny and I have so much in common--first and foremost a love of music. We don't get to see them nearly as much as we would like, but she and her hubby Grandpa J are sharp as tacks and so much fun to chat with. They are full of life and love.

And I think Granny might like me, too. At least she thinks I have a nice rack. ;)

The very first time I met her, while Grant and I were still just dating, she had some choice words of wisdom for Grant: As she was giving him a hug goodbye after our visit she whispered in his ear, "Hang on to this one. She's got a nice rack!" Can you see why I love this lady? We laughed the entire 5 hour trip home. Granny, only Granny...

Happy Birthday to one extraordinary 80 year old!

Thanks to Erin Jo for her amazing photo!

March Madness: Does This Button Make My Blog Look Big?

I'm turning into such a huge blog nerd. Good thing it's just a hobby and I don't spend, like, lots and lots of time thinking about it and planning and plotting and tweaking and playing and ... crap. Is there a way to actually make money doing this? Don't answer that. Because I already know...NO. At least not enough to make me rich, and of course that's the goal, right? ;) I would even settle for just a little money because as we all know mama needs a new pair of shoes. Weekly. And the cash budget does not allow for such things.

The moral of the story is: I spend lots and lots of time putting meaningless junk out there into cyberspace for my amusement and my amusement alone. Yep. Blog nerd.

That leads me to the next example of how much of a blog nerd I am. I now have a button. And I love it more than I should. If you would like to grab my button please do so. I will grab yours right back! There will be a whole lot of grabbin' goin' on, in a non-dirty kind of way. I am even going to dedicate a page (see it up there on the menu?) to grabbing people's buttons and I will do it proudly and with no shame. So, I suggest you go to said page and start clicking away (when I get more buttons in there...)! Because there are some GREAT bloggers out there just waiting to be read and discovered. By you.


p.s. Please leave me a comment if you have grabbed my button so I can be sure to grab yours.

p.p.s. Thank you to Rae Ann at The Button Box for her help!

March Madness: Perfection

There are moments in life when time just seems to stop.

When you hear a little voice saying, "Good morning, mama."

When you open your eyes to see a beautiful face...

You snuggle in bed, you sing the ABCs together, you giggle, you kiss.

You say, "I love you, baby."

And then you hear, "I love you, TOO."

And you smile.

Time is standing still.

And you are more than okay with that.

March Madness: Clean-up, Clean-up

Oh that damn Barney song. But Miles loves to sing the clean-up song so I roll with it.

This is going to be a clean-up post. Tie up loose ends, answer questions that have been asked of me, etc. Very fun and exciting. If you needed some bedtime reading material to lull yourself to sleep you've come to the right place. Save this one for night night time and you will be good to go. Like a coma pill. I know you're grateful, you really don't need to thank me.

-Miles' lip is HUGE. I mean big huge huge. Almost cartoonish. But it just makes him cuter...how is that possible? I really wish I would have taken a pic of it to post. Grant picked out a red shirt for him to wear to daycare today because, well, you know...if he busts it again the blood will just blend in. WE KID, we kid. He is in absolutely no pain and he is a-ok. And cuter than ever.

-I was totally geeking out yesterday over the new favicons for my blogs!!! Look, up there, on the browser tab! Isn't it adorable?? I am in the process of making a sort of "Blogging for Dummies Like Me" page with tutorials that will show you how to pimp your blog a little. Mine is definitely a work in progress so when I do figure out how to do something new I feel like sharing my joy ;) Look for that to come soon!

-I was informed by Grant that he is not, in fact, as uncomfortable with Miles' new doll as I made him out to be in the Guys and Dolls post. So, here's my retractions/apology: I agree with you, my love. Although you did make an "I don't know how I feel about this" kind of comment, you truly do encourage him to play with it and you are especially good at teaching Miles how to be gentle with it. And now I know that you actually read the blog, so....that's good ;)

-The birdhouse is here. I repeat, the birdhouse is here. Dogs beware.

-We skyped with my parents! But it was really funny because their microphone wasn't working. So not only were we on Skype with them but we were also on the phone with them so we could hear each other!!! Silly. The next day my mom sent me the sweetest email (subject line? "Mom Here" I kid you not.) saying that she can't believe how far technology has come in her lifetime: She can still remember when their phone barely connected with the farm next to them and long distance was nearly impossible. And now we can see and hear each other from thousands of miles away! Once again, my mom gives me perspective on the world.

-Those of you who followed my blog pre-"March Madness" know that Grant and I put ourselves on a cash budget. And I am happy to say that it is going GREAT. I can't believe that we have been doing this since Jan. 1 and are still going strong! It's really fantastic, I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to start getting themselves in a better place financially. We were never credit card users even before this, but now I don't even think about pulling out my Debit card. If I don't have the cash I am SOL. It makes me really think about each and every purchase. Not in a 'make you crazy' kind of way. In a good way. We are in a much better place financially than we were just a few months ago....it's amazing what a tiny tweak like that can do to your bottom line!!! We are going to have our van (which I lovingly call the Silver Bullet) paid off 2 years early. YEP. I know. I can't believe it either. Thanks, Frugal Grant ;)

Shhhh, my readers are sleeping......

March Madness: The Call

...or "March Madness: Dude, We Need to Get This Kid a Friggin' Mouth Guard"


When your daycare provider calls in the middle of the day you KNOW it's not good news.

I dread that phone call. When I see "Sharon" pop up on my Crackberry screen my heart drops to my stomach. Is he sick? Is he hurt? Or did he hurt another kid???

Whatever it is, it ain't good.

So when I got the "Sharon" call this morning I instantly felt ill. Uh oh, brace for it.

When we picked him up yesterday she said that he had fallen and busted his lip. She said there was blood, lots of it, but that he calmed down fairly quickly and went about his business. Although it did keep bleeding on and off all day, as is evidenced by the blood on his clothes.

Poor little guy. His teeth are a bit crooked in front, and SHARP, and he always seems to cut his lip on the inside in the exact same spot. Every time. The first time he did it we were at the Minnesota Children's Museum with some friends...I feigned an air of composure while inside I was screaming "OMG! He's bleeding, he's bleeding! Someone call 911!!!" Okay, so that was a first-time mama over-reaction. Just a slight one. But when you see blood gushing out of your son's mouth you tend to freak. Since then I have seen him do it so many times it has become much less freaky for me.

So when Sharon said he busted his lip my reaction was, HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME. No worries.

But then today I guess she was concerned enough to call me and tell me that he did it yet again, which I appreciate sooooooo much. She really cares about Miles. It gives me a sense of peace knowing that if I'm not there to comfort him I know she will be.

She used words like "tons of blood" and "deep cut" and "extremely swollen, huge lip". That was enough to make me want to run over there and grab him and take him to the ER. But I abstained, especially since she said that the bleeding had stopped, he had stopped crying and he seemed to not be bothered by it at all now.

Instead of a trip to the ER I opted for a call to his pediatrician's office. I have called them before about things and the nurses are always happy to give us advice and help us in any way they can. They assured me that even if I took him in they would not do stitches on the inside of the mouth, especially at this age. The best thing we can do is give him Popsicles (to ice it) and let the swelling go down.

Another consultation on the phone with Sharon, and we were both satisfied that he would live. In fact, she said he is back to playing already so he must not be in too much (or any) pain.

WHEW.

I think I might change "Sharon" on my phone to "Don't Panic, It Will Be OK". Maybe I will dread seeing that call just a little bit less that way ;)

March Madness: Guys and Dolls

Before Miles' birthday I let it be known in a not-so-subtle way that I wanted him to have a doll. I think the conversation with my sister went something like this: "What does Miles want for his birthday?" "He wants a doll. He told me."

So, being the best Auntie in the world, she obliged.

I think I was more excited than Miles was when we opened it up on his birthday. I may or may not have squealed.

She got him the cutest little baby doll (darker skin, of course) that can also go in the bath. The doll came with some bath toys and a little diaper that can get wet in the tub. We haven't actually taken her in the tub yet because Miles has now decided that she needs to sleep in the crib with him. Soooo sweeet.

Now, I am delighted that he has taken a liking to this doll. I didn't think it would happen because I'm pretty sure the first thing he did with his doll when we got home is throw her across the room. Ummm, yes. That is exactly what happened. My boy has a good arm.

So when he wanted "Baby" (as he calls her) to take a nap with him the other day I just about cried.

And so did Grant.

But for very different reasons.

Here's the deal: I've said it before on this blog that I am not a feminist. I don't think that traditional gender roles are evil. I just like to think that kids can play with all kinds of toys. What's so wrong with teaching Miles to be gentle around babies? I think nothing. I wanted him to have a doll for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is because if there is a baby in the house again someday we can start to teach Miles how to behave around a little one. (BTW, this is not a hint that we are adopting again right now, don't get any crazy ideas.) And I DO think that it's sort of limiting to only give trucks to boys and dolls to girls. I got Miles a play kitchen for that same reason. We live in a world where traditional gender role lines are becoming less and less valid, and more and more blurred. I dig that.

Grant, on the other hand, is not so sure how he feels about Miles wanting to snuggle his "Baby". I don't think it makes him uncomfortable, but there is naturally a little part of him who just has to let some of those preconceived notions of what boys and girls should be playing with go. He is warming up to this idea, let's just say that ;)

I have a friend who has three boys and her oldest is in dance. I have to admit that the first time I saw a picture of him with his dance class with all the little girls in tutus around him (and him in tights) I recoiled a bit. I will be the first to admit that I was a little taken aback by the site of this little boy doing such a NON boyish activity. But now that I think about it I really applaud his mom for being brave enough to allow him to participate in the activities that he wants to participate in. No judgment. Just good parenting, in my book.

If Miles wanted to put on some tights and go to dance class I can honestly say that it would give me pause. It would give Grant a heart attack. I guess we will just cross that bridge if and when we get to it. (Those of you who know Miles IRL are laughing right now at the thought of Miles in tights. He is such a rough and tough BOY. In a good way.)

What kinds of toys do you give your kids? How do you feel about toys and gender roles??

March Madness: Four Years

I started taking violin lessons when I was four. When my mom tells the story it's four and a half. Because that half year is so important, you know. But whatever. The point is I have absolutely no memory of my life without the violin in it.

I am not going to go into the whole history of how the violin has impacted my life because that would be waaaaay too long of a post. It would be more like a book. All I know is that I am grateful my parents decided to put that breakable instrument in my hands at such a tender age. They gave me the gift that keeps on giving, the gift that has lasted me a lifetime. And lasting...

It makes me really wonder about how to direct (or not direct) Miles when it comes to music and sports, but again that is for another lengthy post. Excited for that one, eh? ;)

The reason I mention the violin is because it's very much on my mind tonight. I just ended a four-year run of a musical. I was a part of the orchestra, obviously. It was not a four solid years of performances, thank GOD! But it was four years of spending a good portion of December through March in rehearsals, resulting in six performances each year.

We were counting up how many times we have done the musical from start to finish and it's over 30. That doesn't include other rehearsals. The short story is that I have spent a lot of time with this music, a lot of time with the people, and a lot of energy in the performances.

I know it seems L.A.M.E. to be bummed about this four-year run being over as of today. But I am just that: A little sad. It's bittersweet for me. I think back to when I started this whole journey. I was a reluctant participant. I remember almost not going to that first rehearsal. But I'm so glad I did.

One thing that amazes me is how very, very different life was four years ago. I think that's why part of me is feeling nostalgic tonight...this musical was like a bridge from my past life to my current one. It has been a blessing in so many ways. But when I think back on it, I think I will most remember it as being a musical oasis in a time of huge change in my life. Each year when we would come back to put the musical together life was different than it was the year before. Each year is like a time-capsule of in the chronology of my life...memories that will be etched in my mind forever.

March Madness: Nachos Rule

I had nachos with friends tonight. And it was good. But since it's 11:30 p.m. that's all I really have to say for today. ;)

I found this poem that expresses my thoughts about nachos exactly. I really couldn't have said it better myself... although I might have said it with a little less sexual innuendo. And where did I find such wonderful poetry? Why, nachosrule.com, of course! Enjoy.


Free Style Nacho Poem

Nachos...In all your cheesy glory

Let me crunch you in my mouth and let me savor your zesty goodness on my tongue.

I look for your salty bite on my lips....to find all that is hidden under your aboding layer of cheese.

What is it about you, Nacho that makes you lure me into you complexity?

I am conflicted by your glorious taste and your ability to cause horrible intestinal conflict.

Nacho, in all your cheesy glory...you give us all glorious Nacho dreams.

March Madness: Tiny Streaker

What a difference a day makes. Wednesday evening = crap. Thursday evening = FUN. What gives? I blame my multiple personality disorder.

And although I have the worst cold ever (is that dramatic enough for you? I could add a *sigh* in case you don't feel sorry enough for me yet...), I am thinking this will be a fun weekend, too.

Anyhoo, I had to share this video that maybe only Grant and I think is hilarious...but I will share it anyway.

Introducing: Our tiny streaker. Blink and you'll miss it!!!!

March Madness: Mr. Friendly Makes My Day

Yesterday would not be what one would consider a "good" day. It's wasn't a horrible one, but it was somewhere in between.

Grant and I both had days at work that were not full of the awesome (as Aunt Becky would say). So I hatched a plan to make all of the unawesomeness (just made that word up, patent pending) go away. Three things came to mind:

1) Alcohol (of course) (I promise to stop talking about the booze so much. maybe.)

2) Junk Food

3) Movie

I got numbers 2 and 3 accomplished with a quick run to Target during lunch. Junk Food = microwave popcorn. Movie = The Princess and the Frog.

I got number 1 done after work with a stop to my favorite liquor store. They are always so friendly and cheery there, and they carry my booze to my car for me. I like them.

I also enjoy going to the liquor store to see if they will card me. It's happening at an alarmingly low frequency as of late. So when I do get carded I feel sorta good about myself.

Here was the conversation with Mr. Friendly Liquor Store Checkout Man from yesterday:

Mr. Friendly: Oh, let me see your ID. Just for good measure!

Me: Bless your heart [handing him my ID].

Mr. Friendly: [looks at ID] Well, Annie [hate when people call me Annie. The e is clearly silent], you don't look a day over 21!

Me: Thanks! You just made my day.

Mr. Friendly: Must be all that clean livin'!

Me: Yes, that must be it [I say as I reach for the massive amounts of alcohol that I have just purchased].

Yes, Mr. Friendly, one gigantic bag of liver killer must be considered "clean livin". Two would be going overboard.

The rest of the evening was also not full of the awesome.

1) Miles whined for 10 minutes about wanting "back-gone". WTF. We could not figure it out. At all. Then it dawned on me. POPCORN. I had mentioned having popcorn once like 2 hours earlier. I should learn by now that his mind is a steel trap. I often wish toddlers had an LCD screen attached to their foreheads so I could get a universal translator application. Would save me [and him] a lot of grief.

2) Popcorn ground into the couch cushions. Enough said.

3) "Watched" the movie for like 20 minutes. Didn't hear much of it over all the yelling. [mine]

4) Grant takes Miles outside and I can hear him [Miles, not Grant] screaming his head off. The neighbors surely called CPS.

Bedtime was at 8:15 [for me] because I decided that this day needed to END. But I fell asleep with a smile on my face because Mr. Friendly thinks I don't look a day over 21. Must be all the sleep ;)

March Madness: Best.Invention.Ever.

There are so many things that I come across in life where my immediate reaction is: why didn't I think of that?? Like, say....the Snack Trap. Brilliant!

But THIS takes the cake--> The Outdoor Bark Control Birdhouse

Our prayers have been answered. This thing will save me from becoming the crazy lady who yells. A lot. At dogs. And neighbors.

You see, we have a next door neighbor who is not very bright. She lets her dog bark right outside our bedroom window ALL THE TIME. I can't count the number of times that bleeping dog has woken me up. Since we have a corner lot the back of our house faces the side of her house and her backyard. So, if the dog is next to the fence on the side of her house (which he always is) he's only like 10 feet from our bedroom window. It's like the damn dog is standing in our room, barking his head off. UGH!!!

Even though it's the dog that does the barking I don't blame the dog at all. In fact, I think the dog's IQ is significantly higher than our neighbor's.

Why not just talk to her, you ask? Oh, WE HAVE. Again, not a smart person.

And usually when she sees me coming she won't answer her door.

Disclaimer: Even though I am not a huge fan of this particular dog, I do love animals. [Read: Cat Person] But I still reserve the right to believe that there is a special place in hell reserved for people who let their dogs bark outside at all hours of the day and night.

So, my friend tells me about this amazing birdhouse that repels dogs by emitting an ultrasonic sound. Don't get your undies in a bunch, it doesn't hurt the dog. It just makes it so the dog won't want to hang out in that part of the yard. A dog repeller disguised as a birdhouse....genius!

Grant ("Frugal Grant" as one of my BFF's calls him) said that he will pay any amount of money for that thing. Sweet.

So when our friend sends us the link to order it Grant says (and this is why I love him), "I think we should order 4 of them and drive that damn dog into the next zip code!"

Again, we just kid. We love dogs. No PETA-like comments, please.

So, he orders it. Giddily. Happily.

Then I get this email from him:

It is ordered. I can’t wait! I considered paying $50 for UPS next day air, but decided to save money and just pay for regular shipping. I can’t wait! I think we should videotape the first encounter just for fun. I can’t wait! Here’s my favorite product review:

Sean, 2.8.2009
Tested it. Hung it. Immediate results. On the lowest setting, my neighbor's 5 little dogs now bark inside their owner's house (now she knows what it’s like for the rest of the neighborhood). My 3 just go out, do their business and come back inside. No more social activity at 6:00 in the morning.

I can’t wait!


Did I mention giddy?



*THANK YOU to Lina at Bees Knees and Joey at Big Teeth & Clouds for awarding me with the Beautiful Blogger Award! Go and check out their beautiful blogs!!

March Madness: Truthful Tuesday

Did you know that the fastest growing segment of the population who smokes weed on a daily basis is mothers of two year olds?

I just totally made that up. But it feels like it should be true, right?

Actually, I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks (in light of the fact that Miles turned two and I have been bitching about the Terrible Twos non-stop) that someone has said, "Oh, no, the threes are waaaay worse." GULP. And inhale.

I'm just kidding about the weed. I don't even know what it smells like, mom. Really.

That reminds me of my favorite new line I have been using lately. When someone asks me how I am I say, "Could be drunker, but thanks for asking."

Again, just kidding about all the drinking talk. Humor, people. Humor. I don't even know what tequilla tastes like, mom. Really.

With all the talk of weed and tequilla you might think that I either, a) need rehab, b) need to be on that show "Intervention", or c) all of the above. None of that is actually true, however. I assure you. Grant makes fun of me because I can never finish an entire beer if that tells you anything about my drinking habits. I talk big. But I am all talk.

The truth of the matter, because it IS Truthful Tuesday, is that if I didn't laugh I would cry. No, things aren't that bad. But when your daycare provider agrees with you that your two-year-old has anger issues you kinda feel like you need a drink.

So, my friends, if I joke about getting high and drunk....please just indulge me. Understand. And then raise a glass for me. I need all the virtual drinking buddies I can get.

March Madness: My First Stilettos

I love this award. And what's not to love? Who doesn't love new shoes?

Granted, I would certainly fall down or sprain an ankle if I wore actual stilettos. But a girl can dream about rockin' some Manolo Blahniks like Carrie Bradshaw. Alas, only a dream.

Thank you to Jill at The Husailey Bunch for bestowing me with such a stylish blog award. Read more about this award here.

I will pass it on to 5 fellow bloggers this week. Check your comments! Like you don't already ;)

[Maybe my foul mood is starting to lift?? Take that Ides of March!!]

March Madness: Hump Day

This is my hump day. It's the day in the month that I have to get past in order to get past the rest of the days in the month. This blogging every day for a month thing is much easier in some ways than I thought it would be, but then again it's SO MUCH HARDER in other ways. This weekend was a doozy. In more ways that I can even recount. So, I won't recount. I have nothing at all witty, interesting or otherwise to say. Nothing in my brain except knowing that I have to get my exhausted ass to bed because Miles now apparently has a cold and will cough all night long. And what do I have to look forward to tomorrow? The Ides of March. Sh*t.

Yours Truly,
Pollyanna Sunshine

a.k.a.

March Madness: Two

Well, he's two. We had a big ol' party this morning with all of his BFFs. It was toddler mayhem. I love my friends and family dearly. They are the sun and moon and stars to us. So much gratitude for them today.

But all I can say is this: he is two. Through and through. *sigh*

I am invoking a little known (a.k.a. I just made it up) clause in the "blogging every day for a month" contract. When your son turns two, and you are frankly just too tired and cranky to deal with life, you get to take a day off of blogging. So that's what I'm going to do today. But I guess this would technically be a post, wouldn't it??

Maybe I will get sh*t for not having an "oh, I remember fondly the day you were born" post. That's definitely not where my head is at today, though. Gotta be honest.

Why is it that I want another one? Someone please explain this to me.

In any case, don't forget to SPRING FORWARD tonight. Great, we lose an hour of sleep. That is totally going to help my mood.

It's a vodka kind of night. I can feel it comin'...

March Madness: Things My Mom Learns From Oprah

I love getting emails from my mom. They always have one of two subject lines:

Mom Here (if she is addressing me)

or

Grandma Here (if she is talking about Miles)

I thought surely there would never be another subject line from her. Ever.

Until the other day when I got this shocker:

Subject: Skype

WHA?? I nearly fell out of my chair. This surely can't be an email from MY mother, the one who can't figure how to to check her voicemail on her cell phone, the one that only just recently joined Facebook (after I set it up for her). Surely MY mother does not know such a thing as Skype!?!

My parents are snowbirds, meaning they go down south for the winter. They head to sunny AZ to escape the 7 coldest months of the year in Minnesota. Smart people, my folks. They love it down there. They love everything except for the fact that their daughters and grandsons are so far away for so many months.

So, Sweet Jean (as Grant calls her) comes up with this brilliant idea to Skype with us from AZ. I'm pretty sure she got the idea from Oprah.

"Does your computer have a Skype camera on it?" she asks.

I love the fact that she thinks that Skype is a type of camera. That makes me smile. But mostly it just makes me miss her. Tomorrow is Miles' 2nd birthday and my parents won't be here to celebrate with us.

And obviously she is thinking the same thing. Miles is growing up and changing at the speed of light, and I know she doesn't want to miss a minute of it.

But honestly? I never thought my 64 year old mother would know the meaning of Skype. She proves me wrong, yet again.

(Thanks, Oprah, for turning my mom on to Skype. Oh, and I have always wanted to thank you for introducing me to Spanx. My muffin top Spanx you very much, too.)

Maybe she will get her 'Skype camera' set up in time to chat with us on his birthday? I sure hope so.

March Madness: CONAN!

OMG! I am so excited! I'm going to see Conan!!!

Those of you who know and love me can appreciate my over-the-top enthusiasm for this news. I L.O.V.E. Conan. In fact, he made my Someday List. I have always wanted to see him live, but I honestly never thought it would happen.

When he was in New York I thought, dang! I'll never get to NY. When he was in L.A. I thought, dang! I'll never get to L.A. And when he went off the air I thought, dang! Now all hopes are dashed of ever seeing him in person.

But because he is going on this fabulous tour to a city near me (Minneapolis on May 18) I will get to check that one off my Someday List: I will get to see him live, on stage, in all his orange bouffant glory.

I saw it on Twitter this morning and nearly peed my pants. I quickly texted Grant ("Conan is coming to Mpls May 18, can we go? Pleeeeease?") Not that I really needed to ask because HELLO of course we are going! But he responded with an enthusiastic YES (after some discussion about our budget). So GAME ON!

His website says it will be "A night of music, comedy, hugging, and the occasional awkward silence." Awesome.

Entertainment Weekly had it so right when they said Conan is funnier in 140 characters on Twitter than Jay Leno is for an entire hour on his show. Go Team Coco! (@ConanOBrien)

March Madness: Discontent

dis·con·tent
a. Absence of contentment; dissatisfaction.

b. A restless longing for better circumstances.


"A restless longing for better circumstances" <--- That's putting it mildly.

I am the definition of this word today. I am utterly shocked that my discontent mugshot is not next to this dictionary entry. Because it should be.

I have written before on this blog about the fact that I am not at a happy place in my career (and I use the word career lightly). It's sort of a joke, really, how underpaid and unfulfilled I am.

Pity party, table for one. I know, I know.

I am not someone who fits in a neat little box of career choices. I can't classify myself as any one thing because, as I pointed out in yesterday's post, I have done many things. I have spent 10 years trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and I have yet to figure it out.

Here's a huge clue that you are not in the right job: You have people saying things like, "Aren't you a little, ummm, overqualified for your job?" I get that one A LOT. And the answer is YES.

But it's my fault. I don't put myself into positions where I can either, a) be truly successful, b) be truly fulfilled, or c) live up to my potential. I am a self-saboteur. WHY do I do that to myself? Why am I constantly undercutting my own abilities and aspirations??

Maybe it's a fear of failure?

Makes me think of that great Spiderman quote: "With great power comes great responsibility." I fear the long fall down if I do dive into a career that might be more challenging, more risky, harder ... with a greater chance of failure.

I often wonder if I will ever find that magic bullet, or if it even exists.

This is what keeps me up at night. This AND the very bizarre Lindsey Lohan/E-Trade lawsuit. Have you heard about that crap? She is seriously disturbed.

March Madness: Beautiful Blogger Award

I have been given the Beautiful Blogger Award by the very sweet Kelli. She is mama to the always adorable Aiden, and her blog is certainly beautiful. Therefore I am honored to have been chosen by her for this award. I wish I could make a Sandra Bullock-like acceptance speech but I'm just not that articulate and luminous. So instead I will just say THANK YOU Kelli, and pass it along!

First, I believe I am supposed to say 7 things about me. I am going to try and come up with some obscure facts that my friends might not even know about me. Maybe.

1. I've had something like 15 different job titles in the 10 years since I have graduated from college. I didn't say 15 different jobs, I said 15 different job titles. I tend to morph into other things once I get into a job, and my title inevitably changes. Am I proud that that? Not particularly. But VistaPrint has made a fortune from me in business cards.

2. I hate horror movies. Like, HATE them. I will even turn the channel if there is a commercial for one on. They are a waste of time.

3. I was originally going to be a psychology major but then failed Stats for Psych miserably so that was the end of that. There were no statistics requirements for a B.A. in writing, so I decided that sounded like a good choice.

4. Did I mention I am bad at math? That's why I married an accountant.

5. I have never been in a car accident and I have never received a speeding ticket. True story. But now that I have written this I will certainly do both. Today, probably.

6. I have been to Bourbon Street in New Orleans and I received beads while I was there. That's all I'm going to say about that.

7. I love my friends, family and life so fiercely that sometimes it scares me. But life is all about passion, right?


Passing on awards is a hard thing to do for so many reasons, but I am going to do my best. So many of you that I would have chosen have already gotten this award, and for good reason!!

I have decided to give this award to a bunch of blogs who make me smile every day with their beautiful pictures. I love me some good photography. And as a bonus these wonderful picture-takers just happen to be awesome mamas, too!

Bliss Photography (other blog at Little Baby Bliss)

Olive Avenue Photography (other blog at Our Golden Girl)

Songbird Photography (other blog at Stoll My Heart)

3 Continent Family

Love is Spoken Here

March Madness: Vegetable Relocation Program

I vaguely remember a Jon & Kate Plus 8 episode (yes, I watched it religiously before all the drama, before her ugly hair extensions) where Kate says something like, "The kids eat what I put in front of them or they don't eat at all." Something to that effect. [In her really bitchy, holier-than-thou kind of way.] I actually really admired that about her. She stuck to her guns when it came to nutrition. Their family tried to eat locally and organically (which I think was all a bit staged for the show, but whatever). But I just remember thinking, OMG, she actually gets her kids to eat veggies. How does she do it???

Miles is like any other toddler, or at least many that I know: PICKY. And getting pickier. I wish I had the strength to stick to my guns and not give in when he whines and cries for something. But I am weak. And at the end of the day when I am tired and crabby already he can wear me down REALLY fast.

But it's not like we are feeding him crap and he is making his own decisions about food. Oh no, no, no. To the contrary. If nothing else I am a product of my mother, the dietitian, who always had balanced and healthy meals on the table for us. So I am forever trying to get in more fruits and veggies when I can with him. Our "snack drawer" is stocked with raisins, applesauce and granola bars. That does not make me Mother of the Year. But it does give me some hope that I can establish some good eating habits. Even if we do go to McDonald's once in a while. Mama likes fries, what can I say?

Lately Miles has decided to try a new and fabulous trick to avoid eating veggies that I have dubbed the "Vegetable Relocation Program". You know, kinda like the Witness Relocation Program without all the cops and mob hits and such. He starts by transferring all of the veggies from one side of his plate to the other. When he can see that has, in fact, not deterred me from trying to coax some in his mouth he then tries to relocate them to the table. And when that doesn't work he tries to put them on MY plate. Or else, and this is a brilliant reverse-psychology move on his part, he tries to take all the veggies off my plate and put them onto his. Smart move, but I'm not buying it, mister.

It is really funny to watch him relocating his veggies around everywhere. Such a silly one, that kid.

So, I have resorted to buying baby food (because I am frankly just too lazy to make my own purees) and plotting to hide it in his food. I plan to mix squash into his mac n cheese. I plan to mix carrots into his spaghetti sauce. Etc... I got the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld as a gift recently (thanks, Jess!) and I plan on making many things in there, too. Whatever it takes. I have my own form of the Veggie Relocation Program up my sleeve, buddy, and I will succeed! Like I often say to Miles when he is refusing to put on his shirt or his coat, "Mama will win eventually. You might as well just give in now."

How do you get your kiddos to eat veggies???

March Madness: The Birth of Blogs

Nothin' like squeaking in a post just under the wire, eh? Thought I wouldn't get 'er in today, didn't you??? Yeah, I didn't either. But here I am, watching the Oscars (what's up with George Clooney looking all pissy tonight?) while I hear my bed calling my name. So, a quick post before I heed that call! I really want to respond to a bloggy award that I was given but that will have to wait until tomorrow!

This is a crazy busy week for me and I have no clue how I will get everything done, but I am going to take a deep breath and dive right into the deep end. Hope I will keep my head above water.

One quick thought for the day: Grant pulled up our first blog (4 blogs ago. really.) last night and we had so.much.fun. going back and reading those first posts. Windows Live Spaces. That was our first blogging platform. January 11, 2007. That was our first post date. We birthed our blog after starting the adoption process as a way to communicate our progress with friends and family, and as a way to connect with other adoptive families or PAPs (prospective adoptive parents). And then, 3 blogs later...here we are!

After that little walk down memory lane, and when I think back on our life pre-Miles I have two thoughts: 1) I used to have more brain cells and be way more interesting...what happened??, and 2) What the hell did I do with all of that free time???

I love having these blogs to reference to how life used to be. It's a history book, a postcard, a networking tool, a time machine and a scrapbook all rolled into one. How cool is that? I know those of you who have blogs will agree with that. I guess tonight I am just feeling grateful for the ability to look back .. and look forward ... all at the same time.

What was your first blog, and when/why did you start it? Do you ever go back and read your old posts?

March Madness: Saturday Smatterings

First of all, thank you and welcome to some new followers from MBC and FGF. I think I have gotten around to the vast majority of your blogs but if not I will get there soon! I love this crazy, fun blogging community. It's like one big party that we're all invited to. I dig it.

[Oh, and if you are a newbie to All of the Above, please note that March Madness is my answer to writer's block. I am attempting to blog every day for a month, and because of that I might go mad. I was about to throw in the ol' bloggy towel but instead decided to kick myself in the ass and do March Madness. Maybe I've already gone mad... :-) ]

Second of all, it seems that I need to start some sort of drinking club for mamas of 2 year olds. Let me work on that and see what I can come up with... ;)

Lastly, my baby boy is going to officially be in the Terrible Twos Club a week from today. I was just thinking about the fact that exactly two years ago we still weren't matched with Miles' birthmother and we actually had only just been accepted to our adoption agency. Crazy how life can change in just one short week, because a mere 7 days later our son was born. AWESOME (as he says).

And now I am planning his 2nd birthday party which will be on his actual birth date, next Saturday. Lots of toddlers. Oh the fun. It is a little different twist on the traditional birthday party and I will fill you all in on the "juicy" details after it's all said and done!

My son is napping. My husband isn't home. The house is quiet. What the hell am I doing on the computer?!? NAPTIME for mama. Nighty night!

March Madness: Feel Good Friday

My bloggy pal over at The Girl Next Door Grows Up has been doing this fabulous thing called "Feel Good Friday" for quite some time now, and I have yet to partake--until now! She has given us several things to consider when writing our "Feel Good Friday" posts and I am going to take suggestion numero uno:

• Just make a list. List 5 things that made you really happy this week. No matter how bad or boring you think your week was, I bet you can find 5 things.

So, here's my list!

1. I had a hysterical email conversation with three of my favorite people (you know who you are) that made me literally laugh out loud. LOL. It's one of those "you had to be there" moments but believe me, it was classic. It had to do with conspiracy theories, collating for Jesus and the company that makes Cheetos.

2. My cousin-in-law posted something very flattering about me and my blog on Facebook yesterday, and it has puffed me up so much that I am now asking everyone to please address me as Her Royal Highness. And add in comments from her sister, another awesome cousin-in-law, and you have me at a full-on blush. I don't deserve a word of it, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful. So grateful.

3. I have found a blog (courtesy of Girl Next Door) that makes me happy. It's called Mommy Wants Vodka. I can relate. Aunt Becky (the author) is someone who hits the nail on the head every.single.time. She uses words like "cooter" and it makes me laugh so hard I nearly pee. Check it out. You will NOT be disappointed.

4. I have actually enjoyed March Madness, thus far. I have yet to go mad. So, that feels good.

5. Despite being in the throws of the TERRIBLE TWOs (did I mention the vodka???), my incredibly clever and handsome son makes me feel good...every week.


Hope your Friday feels as good as mine!!!

March Madness: Terrible Twos

Grant and I are in the process of writing our wills and it's a good thing we are. Because I don't know if I'm going to survive the toddler years with my son.

The Terrible Twos might be the death of me. In the very least it will drive me to drink. More.

I a.d.o.r.e. our son. I think he is the coolest kid I have ever known or will know. He is wicked smart, dang funny and full of LIFE. And impossibly cute, to boot. But there is a reason why God made toddlers cute. It's a defense mechanism for them. Kinda like the puffer fish.

Now, if only God made teenagers cute....

But I digress.

The whining, the crying, the tantrums! And that's just ME! ;)

I won't go into the details because he is doing normal toddler stuff: testing his limits, pushing our buttons and generally being a pain in the ass. Ha. Our daycare provider (a.k.a. Saint Sharon) tells us she does a lot of deep breathing techniques when Miles throws one of his fits. She says it has gotten worse lately, but assures us that it will get better. Oh, I hope she is right. Otherwise we are going to get booted out of yet another daycare. *sigh*

It will pass, as all things do. Everything with kids is a phase. He will get over it, and so will I.

And in the meantime I get through it with patience and deep breathing.

And vodka.


[more about vodka in tomorrow's post]

March Madness: Let's Talk About Sex

It's day 3 of March Madness and already I have run out of things to write about. Not really, but it FEELS like that.

So, I ask my right-hand man (crude joke, sorry) what I should write about.

His response?

"Sex."

Raise your hand if you are surprised by this very typical male response. Nope, not surprising at all.

"Sex. It's always sex." he says.

There is a great quote from Good Will Hunting (Minnie Driver says it): "Men are shameless. If you're not thinking with your wiener, then you're acting directly on its behalf."

True. True. True.

By the way, G is no different than any other husband out there so this should not be a "OMG she is OVERSHARING" type of thing at all. Every man is the same. I have never ever met one who is different. Ever.

Then my wonderful hubby goes on to say that he can come up with something better for me to write about, although there really is nothing better than sex. "Everything starts with sex and then develops from there. But it's a starting point," he says.

Lovely.

So, here I am. Writing about sex. Just like you wanted, honey.

As punishment for thinking exclusively with his Johnson, my husband will write a "guest post" later on in March Madness. I wonder what he will write about... ;)

March Madness: The one where I nearly die

I was almost murdered in the shower this morning.

Okay, so I'm being overly dramatic. But I got your attention.

I swear to Jesus, Mary and Joseph that I heard someone trying to break into the house while I was in the shower this morning. I was in the house alone (Grant had already taken Miles to daycare at this point in the morning). A few seconds after stepping in I heard a BANG BANG BANG.

I let out a tiny little yelp. I mean, it was a loud, clear BANGing. It spooked me.

A couple seconds went by. Nothing.

Then I heard it again. BANG BANG BANG. This time I jumped.

It was definitely someone trying to break in, I thought. I am going to get murdered in the shower. And of course it's my only wish that I don't die naked. That would be embarrassing.

So, I did what any self-defending female would do: I grabbed a pair of scissors, threw on a towel and prepared to meet my attacker. I mean, I took a one-hour self-defense course 10 years ago so I'm totally prepared, right?

In the meantime I am coming up with a million alternate and more plausible scenarios of what it could be: the neighbor stopping by for a cup of sugar? Jehovah Witnesses, perhaps? No, it was definitely someone who wanted to kill me because of course that makes total sense.

So, I am walking around the house in my best stealth, ninja-like way, peeking around corners and out of windows.

I see...nothing.

I hear...nothing.

So I make sure the doors are locked. Whew! Close one. I was almost murdered in the shower, Psycho-style.

Now that I have dripped water all over the house and checked to make sure every room does not contain my murderer I head back to the shower.

The second I get back in the shower...you guessed it...BANG BANG BANG.

WTF!!! It sounds like it is coming from inside the house. It cannot be a neighbor, it is not my imagination, and it's not a ghost. I don't think.

So, I turn off the shower again, and grab my towel and scissors again, and creep back out of the bathroom...again.

At this point I think I am just being paranoid. And I think I'm right. Because I again find nothing. There isn't even a soul outside the house. Not a car or neighbor in sight. Crap, I am losing my friggin' mind.

I wish I could say that I figured out where the banging was coming from. But I don't have a clue. It's a mystery.

I conclude two things from this: 1) Maybe we should get a dog. Ok, maybe not. I'm a cat person. and 2) I need to stop watching CSI. It's screwing with my head.

March Madness: Day 1

What the HELL have I gotten myself into here?? I had to open my big mouth and be all, "I'm going to blog every single day for a month"--GAH! Damn.

So, what to write about....

I got nothin'. See ya'll later!

Just kidding, of course. I'm not going to quit before I've even started. I'm a blog loser but not that much of a blog loser.

I have gone back to read my blog theology and my first few posts to see if I can get my head back in the game. The thing that strikes me about blogging is that (and I mention this in my very first post) it's soooo narcissistic. So much of what we do these days is. Facebook. Twitter. Blogs. It's all electronic narcissism. But here's the catch: I'm okay with that. And if you are reading this blog I bet you are, too. If you are on FB, Twitter, or have a blog (or even just read blogs) you are a part of this culture...like it or not.

If you know me IRL (ummm, that means in real life, just FYI. Oh, and FYI means for your information. LOL! Oh, and LOL means...nevermind...) you know that I'm not all that vain. Except about my feet. I think I have pretty feet. No really, let me get a pedicure and then I'll take a picture. You'll see ;) Anyway, I just don't think I'm all that and a bag of chips. In fact, as is evidenced by the complete lack of self-confidence I have about my blogging abilities, I am downright hard on myself most of the time. We all are, aren't we? The people that I know who are the most cocky, shall we say, are also the most insecure. Think about it. It's totally true.

So, at least for the month of March, I have decided to shelve my insecurities. After all, my first words on this blog were, "This blog is a work of love. It's my love child, of sorts. It's purely for me. For the love of ME." Not narcissism...therapy, exploration, fun.

In short: Life is short. Blog.

:-)