I was almost murdered in the shower this morning.
Okay, so I'm being overly dramatic. But I got your attention.
I swear to Jesus, Mary and Joseph that I heard someone trying to break into the house while I was in the shower this morning. I was in the house alone (Grant had already taken Miles to daycare at this point in the morning). A few seconds after stepping in I heard a BANG BANG BANG.
I let out a tiny little yelp. I mean, it was a loud, clear BANGing. It spooked me.
A couple seconds went by. Nothing.
Then I heard it again. BANG BANG BANG. This time I jumped.
It was definitely someone trying to break in, I thought. I am going to get murdered in the shower. And of course it's my only wish that I don't die naked. That would be embarrassing.
So, I did what any self-defending female would do: I grabbed a pair of scissors, threw on a towel and prepared to meet my attacker. I mean, I took a one-hour self-defense course 10 years ago so I'm totally prepared, right?
In the meantime I am coming up with a million alternate and more plausible scenarios of what it could be: the neighbor stopping by for a cup of sugar? Jehovah Witnesses, perhaps? No, it was definitely someone who wanted to kill me because of course that makes total sense.
So, I am walking around the house in my best stealth, ninja-like way, peeking around corners and out of windows.
So I make sure the doors are locked. Whew! Close one. I was almost murdered in the shower, Psycho-style.
Now that I have dripped water all over the house and checked to make sure every room does not contain my murderer I head back to the shower.
The second I get back in the shower...you guessed it...BANG BANG BANG.
WTF!!! It sounds like it is coming from inside the house. It cannot be a neighbor, it is not my imagination, and it's not a ghost. I don't think.
So, I turn off the shower again, and grab my towel and scissors again, and creep back out of the bathroom...again.
At this point I think I am just being paranoid. And I think I'm right. Because I again find nothing. There isn't even a soul outside the house. Not a car or neighbor in sight. Crap, I am losing my friggin' mind.
I wish I could say that I figured out where the banging was coming from. But I don't have a clue. It's a mystery.
I conclude two things from this: 1) Maybe we should get a dog. Ok, maybe not. I'm a cat person. and 2) I need to stop watching CSI. It's screwing with my head.