Wednesday, March 10, 2010

March Madness: Discontent

a. Absence of contentment; dissatisfaction.
b. A restless longing for better circumstances.

"A restless longing for better circumstances" <--- That's putting it mildly.

I am the definition of this word today. I am utterly shocked that my discontent mugshot is not next to this dictionary entry. Because it should be.

I have written before on this blog about the fact that I am not at a happy place in my career (and I use the word career lightly). It's sort of a joke, really, how underpaid and unfulfilled I am.

Pity party, table for one. I know, I know.

I am not someone who fits in a neat little box of career choices. I can't classify myself as any one thing because, as I pointed out in yesterday's post, I have done many things. I have spent 10 years trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and I have yet to figure it out.

Here's a huge clue that you are not in the right job: You have people saying things like, "Aren't you a little, ummm, overqualified for your job?" I get that one A LOT. And the answer is YES.

But it's my fault. I don't put myself into positions where I can either, a) be truly successful, b) be truly fulfilled, or c) live up to my potential. I am a self-saboteur. WHY do I do that to myself? Why am I constantly undercutting my own abilities and aspirations??

Maybe it's a fear of failure?

Makes me think of that great Spiderman quote: "With great power comes great responsibility." I fear the long fall down if I do dive into a career that might be more challenging, more risky, harder ... with a greater chance of failure.

I often wonder if I will ever find that magic bullet, or if it even exists.

This is what keeps me up at night. This AND the very bizarre Lindsey Lohan/E-Trade lawsuit. Have you heard about that crap? She is seriously disturbed.


  1. She is disturbed. She had such potentiaal.

    I found the site I was looking for, for you.

    She does buttons!!!

  2. Hope you can make some headway on the career discontent, figure out what it is you are meant to do! As for the Lindsay story - holy smokes, that girl needs to back off the drugs. And shame on her lawyer for cashing those checks...

  3. Oh, I so get this... I wish we lived closer and could discuss over a martini (or two, or three!) It makes such a difference in life too... Sigh...

  4. I hope you find career contentment. It can be so hard to find.


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