Did you know that the fastest growing segment of the population who smokes weed on a daily basis is mothers of two year olds?
I just totally made that up. But it feels like it should be true, right?
Actually, I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks (in light of the fact that Miles turned two and I have been bitching about the Terrible Twos non-stop) that someone has said, "Oh, no, the threes are waaaay worse." GULP. And inhale.
I'm just kidding about the weed. I don't even know what it smells like, mom. Really.
That reminds me of my favorite new line I have been using lately. When someone asks me how I am I say, "Could be drunker, but thanks for asking."
Again, just kidding about all the drinking talk. Humor, people. Humor. I don't even know what tequilla tastes like, mom. Really.
With all the talk of weed and tequilla you might think that I either, a) need rehab, b) need to be on that show "Intervention", or c) all of the above. None of that is actually true, however. I assure you. Grant makes fun of me because I can never finish an entire beer if that tells you anything about my drinking habits. I talk big. But I am all talk.
The truth of the matter, because it IS Truthful Tuesday, is that if I didn't laugh I would cry. No, things aren't that bad. But when your daycare provider agrees with you that your two-year-old has anger issues you kinda feel like you need a drink.
So, my friends, if I joke about getting high and drunk....please just indulge me. Understand. And then raise a glass for me. I need all the virtual drinking buddies I can get.