Tuesday, March 16, 2010

March Madness: Truthful Tuesday

Did you know that the fastest growing segment of the population who smokes weed on a daily basis is mothers of two year olds?

I just totally made that up. But it feels like it should be true, right?

Actually, I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks (in light of the fact that Miles turned two and I have been bitching about the Terrible Twos non-stop) that someone has said, "Oh, no, the threes are waaaay worse." GULP. And inhale.

I'm just kidding about the weed. I don't even know what it smells like, mom. Really.

That reminds me of my favorite new line I have been using lately. When someone asks me how I am I say, "Could be drunker, but thanks for asking."

Again, just kidding about all the drinking talk. Humor, people. Humor. I don't even know what tequilla tastes like, mom. Really.

With all the talk of weed and tequilla you might think that I either, a) need rehab, b) need to be on that show "Intervention", or c) all of the above. None of that is actually true, however. I assure you. Grant makes fun of me because I can never finish an entire beer if that tells you anything about my drinking habits. I talk big. But I am all talk.

The truth of the matter, because it IS Truthful Tuesday, is that if I didn't laugh I would cry. No, things aren't that bad. But when your daycare provider agrees with you that your two-year-old has anger issues you kinda feel like you need a drink.

So, my friends, if I joke about getting high and drunk....please just indulge me. Understand. And then raise a glass for me. I need all the virtual drinking buddies I can get.


  1. And then once you get through the 2's, 3's and 4's you will get a respite... and then they get snotty :-(

    I always say I need a drink. Or WHere's the vodka, but in truth I haven't had but a few sips of beer in the past few years!

  2. I need more than a virtual drink. We need a night away.

  3. Everything in moderation.

    Hang in there. You are most definitely not alone.

  4. You totally had me cracking up with that first line! Yeah, I really need a drink (constantly) but I'm just too tired to even bother. But you know you've got a virtual (and occassional IRL, we're good with wine, right?) drinking buddy in me!

  5. Raising a glass for you - and a virtual roach clip! :)

    Following you from MBC/FFF!


  6. I think that kids are all different and you must have hope that his 3 will be better than his 2. My daughter was an angel until her 4th birthday when she started having these horrible tantrums - kicking, BITING - talk about anger issues.

    We were selling our townhouse at the time and the poor little thing was absorbing all the stress. "This to shall pass" my wise friend told me when I first became a mother. Sometimes it can't pass quick enough. But it does eventually pass.

  7. I'm right there with you. Everyone keeps telling me that it's the "terrible two years." I mean, really. Are they trying to give me a nervous breakdown?!


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