After a wonderful weekend with my boys, I am feeling perfectly in harmony with the universe. There has been so much stress and drama in our lives lately that I think we all have felt a little off kilter, a little bit like crazy people who had lost our minds. But now we are settling back into our routines and our rituals, and that feels oh so good.
I think that's what I crave most in life: BALANCE. You need the ups and the downs to appreciate the times when all is at equilibrium. Normal is good. Boring is good.
I can see how the rollercoaster of life effects Miles. I am more aware than ever that he CAN feel our stress, he DOES feel our pain. And on the other end he also feels it when we are happy and content.
The realization of just how much he feeds off our state of mind hit me like a ton of bricks this morning: My mood changes his. (Seems like DUH! But I am a bit slow at seeing some of these more obvious parenting things.) As I said, we had a nice weekend. Didn't do anything in particular but it was just good. Lots of time just the three of us, which is what we like best. I was calm, I was happy, I was in a good mood. Feeling no stress for the first time in, well, a long time. So by the time we all woke up this morning, it seems that all the GOODNESS had settled into our little munchkin. He woke up happy, full of smiles, full of hugs. He even ran to the bedroom to get the sweater that I had worn yesterday (that was lying on the floor) and brought it to me, and eagerly watched as I put it on, and then put his coat on him. It was as if he was saying to me "C'mon mama, let's go have more fun!" This is such a great age because they now actively start to show you how much they love you by doing little things like that. I love him so much. What a nice start to the week.
But how do you bottle balance? Yeah, I know, it's called Zoloft ;) No really, I have often wondered how to harness this feeling of contentment when you feel anything but content. I think I am getting closer to figuring that out due to a book that I am reading and a recent retreat that I attended that focus on buddist and zen principles. I will explore that in more depth in another post. But for now I will just bask in the glow of the moment. Happy. Content. Ahhhh.